Saturday, March 26, 2016
Beware of Mind Games
I personally have never been much for mind games. To me they come pretty damn close to humiliation play. AND dear god in heaven if you are gonna do humiliation play you had better be an expert at putting your sub's mind back together!
BUT there's another side of playing in the mind of others...........
I started - what I thought - was a good debate with a Sadist over on Fetlife on "brave masochists". I have never met him - he has never met me - we don't really know each other's story - or more importantly what REALLY makes us tick.
I disagreed with him........ and he tried to turn my opinion around. (This was weeks ago) He frustrated the hell out of me during that debate - dodging direct questions - being "cute" in his mind I am sure - twisting and turning - ducking and dodging, OH and he was cute - smiling and winking - and trying to pull me in and sway my opinion. I thought the debate ended with my " we're gonna have to agree to disagree".
Then last week he asked me to read something he wrote "Pain isn't just Pain". and tell him my feelings on it. (shrug) Fine I have time on my hands. So I read it - and re-read it - made notes - then compiled my thoughts into a coherent email to him.
He seemed truly interested in what I was saying and asked more questions based on my email. And again I went deep inside of myself and answered his questions truthfully from the heart.
He probed more...... and I went deeper into my feelings...... and answered him truthfully - cause ya know that's who I am - on the net - in real life - I am honest and will share my feelings/thoughts honestly.
AND then he brought me to a point that I wrote my inner most dreams and desires........ and it surprised even me - truthfully !!
Then he came back with a smirk on his face (at least I pictured a smirk on his face) saying "SEE you are a brave masochist"
I sat staring at that line and went from furious - throw the pc out the window pissed - to breaking down in tears...............
He had no idea - none whatsoever -- what he had just put me through.....
I sent him a quick email back and said - "you should charge for therapy - then you could charge for aftercare - cause right now I have major hurt "
and he never answered it.
He had won - He had proved his point.
And I was left shaking and feeling emotionally weak.
Don't trust folks on line to be who YOU think they are..........and never again - no more online debates or serious discussions!!