Saturday, February 13, 2016

On Growing up.......


I was sitting last night - reflecting - it has been that sort of week.

For one reason or another I have felt a lot of pain this week - in my heart - in my soul.  

And then I read something on Fetlife - really an inconsequential piece - but it made me remember an online friend "Buffalo" and his writings.  AND how of all the people who have come through my life he was the one who always - ALWAYS - called me on my shit.  Who made me think hard about my words....... my feelings... my thoughts.  

And for some reason - I realized that a lot of the pain and confusion I have had this week - is due to "growing pains".  I have left the sheltered life I have been kept in for years and years..... and I have been making decisions for myself.
 
Right or wrong - they have been my decisions.  And damn it I have had a whole lot of fun making them!

Regrets - shrug - sure I have regrets - but they won't hold me back - they'll just show me what to do or not do the next time.

Buffalo dear friend - you are still sitting on my shoulder calling me on my shit (small smile) and I hope you still come to read here occasionally and know I think of you.

1 comment:

Ordalie said...

Dear Morningstar, I'm glad you mention Buffalo, I deeply miss him too. The last time he spoke about himself was in December 2012 and he seemed in a bad way. Such a pity!
He had a knack for description and his posts were always very interesting.