Monday, October 12, 2015

Hauntings






I have been slipping under the weather for just over a week now........... by Friday I was so far under I couldn't see a way up.......... This morning though my head is clear - my belly doesn't hurt - and I even managed two cups of coffee  -- but I will say I AM glad I have a doctor's appointment on Friday -- cause I just feel something isn't quite right ....

But what I really want to get out of my head - shoo be gone!! - are 3 dreams I had on 3 consecutive nights........... I wouldn't exactly call them nightmares -- but they weren't sunshine and lollipops and rainbows either........ and though they are gone -- they are haunting me..............

The first one - 

I was standing beside a bed - and my ex-husband was lying on the bed with a towel discretely draped over his private parts.   I was turning to leave the room -- and heard myself say "I'll be back in a minute and then you can give me a blow job" ............. now as I am someone who NEVER asks for anything of a sexual nature - EVER!!  -  that was weird .............. I keep wondering what brought my ex into my dreams??? He hasn't ever - EVER - been in one of my infrequent dreams before............. 

Second night - second dream - the one that has upset me the most -

I was standing in a kitchen - and my mom was there - she was standing on a small stool reaching to put something into a top cupboard...... I felt something squishy under my feet and looked down........ There was this plastic bag with channels in it - and the channels were filling up with blood -- I looked and this strange bag seemed to be hooked up to my mother.  I said "are you losing weight" and my father appeared out of the corner of my eye and said in a whisper "yes".........  And then we were packing to go to the "cottage" yet my parents never had a cottage - and it was all wooden with steep stairs -- and I was reassuring myself it would be ok 'cause I would have my own room - and I looked up to see my mom walking in front of me with some sort of back pack on (my mother would have died before she ever wore a back pack in real life!!) And I realized that the this weird plastic bag of blood was folded neatly and stored in the back pack.

Third night -- final dream (I hope!!)

I am sitting at the table working (for those of you who don't know - not sure I mentioned it here - I have changed career paths now I am retired and am doing "web design" at a very junior level!!)

So in the dream I am working on a project -- there is this "story line" looks kinda like a tree - hard to explain - but it is real -- I work from it every day.......... there are the top 2 boxes and then lines leading down and branching out  to 4 "chapters" or individual rows of boxes lined up vertically all connected to the top 2 boxes by lines... and I can't find - can NOT - find the box I need - I know it is hidden inside one of the other boxes..and I am getting so frustrated - and feeling stupid - and then just before I wake up - or as I wake up - I go "eureka - the box is inside the one marked "journey" ........... 

Thank god with this last dream when I wake up I don't feel scared - or worried - or confused - I feel satisfied I found it!

But these 3 dreams have haunted me ....... I can't figure out what they are telling me - or why I had them.  I virtually never remember my dreams...... and when I do they are so life like I can't shake them for days!!!


And on top of all that -- today is Thanksgiving  here in Canada.  I was supposed to be in Montreal with my youngest and her family -- but had to cancel cause I don't think I am strong enough just yet to be driving - and I know definitely a full turkey dinner is not what my stomach needs .............. but I am feeling a little sorry for myself.......... I have looked forward to trips to visit my kids during the holidays without any guilt -- and here it is the first one and I can't go .......... I miss my kids ...... miss the family holidays... miss it all........  





2 comments:

Alofa said...

Jung would probably say your dreams are about things that are missing in your life. Freud would say they are about repressed desires.

Does that mean you WANT or NEED a blowjob? Or a nice man? Or both? :)

The dream with the parents is harder. That could be about some unmet expectations or unfulfilled potential.

The work dream seems easier, just flat out stress that is making you crazy, but you already know the solution is within your grasp.

Maybe the holiday just set it all off, even though we look forward to seeing everybody, old stressors from holidays past are still floating around, randomly landing when we least expect them...

Sending you positive vibes and good thoughts to help chase the crazy dreams away!

Joy & Peace,
Alofa

Michele d said...

It's good that you are listening to your body and getting checked out. Hope you're feeling better!