Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Family Tree

Our family tree - no actually - MY family tree is a little bent these days.  I won't believe it is broken......... not yet....... just a little bent.

Life does that ..... bends things........ people, trees, hearts.......... but hopefully doesn't break them - doesn't snap them in half.

I wonder some times (like now) if my mother/father ever felt I had left them behind... cut them out of my life ....... found a new family - made a new family and forgot where I came from.  I hope not....... with all my heart I hope I never made my Mom feel I had found something new and better .......... better than the family I grew up in.

And if dealing with this family crap wasn't enough ....... I got a call from the hospital yesterday....... they want to see me. 

Back last spring - if you remember - they found two masses - one in my uterus and one in my bladder.  The one in my uterus was benign........ but I have had some minor issues that just haven't disappeared.  And so I am off to see a new specialist...... tomorrow. 

It is ENOUGH now!!!  I am SO damn tired of feeling scared....... and stressed...... and unhappy.  I just want to live happily ever after ya know?!  And every single time I think I am there - something comes along and knocks me down - again.

W says tomorrow will be nothing........ easy peasy.... they won't find anything that can't be fixed easy peasy.............everything is going to be ok.  He's seldom wrong you know...... I am trying to hold on to his optimism - trying to be brave and strong....... but it just feels a little too much some days. 

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