Yesterday was a dark and dreary day - which - no lie - definitely affected my mood. I started feeling sad inside - deep inside.
The day dragged on.... and on.
Then my bones started to ache - like when you have the flu - and nothing seemed to help - not even a double dose of Tylenol .
W went off and picked up supper so I didn't have to cook.... which was lovely - but honestly didn't help my downs..............
Finally he suggested I go take a bath. Sorta kinda like this one....
Now you have to understand this is one HUGE bath - a soaker tub. W had complained to me sometime during the winter that it took hours to fill it up... hours to empty it.. and it wasted gallons of water (we pay for our water usage).
I use to have a bath almost every evening when I worked. But I hadn't had a bath since I arrived here - opting instead for showers - as they don't use as much water and I rationalized - I wasn't going through any work stress therefore I didn't need a hot soak in the tub at night,
But last night with the achy bones and low spirits I decided to follow W's suggestion (order??) to soak in the tub. It didn't take hours to fill it though it did use gallons of water - and as I slide into the tub - my reaction was hard to describe... it was almost orgasmic. The tub seems to wrap around my body - cradling it while I floated in all that water. There are arm rests (you can sorta see them in the picture above)that one's arms just naturally lie on. I was thinking as I laid down and the water floated up to my chin - that this had to be the most amazing bath tub EVER !!!
And as I lay there trying to figure out what the hell had happened to me - I realized that I honestly have not stopped since I got here..... from the deck contractor coming to see me the day I arrived at 3:00 to the landscaper two days later - then painters and fence fixers and munches and shopping and trying to find my own way around town.... it just hasn't stopped.......... until yesterday.
That's when I realized I missed my kids - missed my grandkids - missed my home town. (that is not to say I don't love Kingston and our new home/ life here - cause I do LOVE it - it just means I finally took time to acknowledge that my life has changed big time)
And as I climbed out of the big bath I realized that I just need time to adjust - to acknowledge the changes... adjust to them and move on.............