Wednesday, January 09, 2013
In ten days I will get my biopsy results. My stomach has been in knots since I got home from Kingston. It's more than stomach knots - my body is cold - I run home between shifts and lock the door - like I am gonna lock the fear outside - stupid me! My muscles are tight and tensed - my blood pressure is elevated - I can barely eat - I cry at the slightest thing. oh yeah - I am living in fear.
AND I am angry - life is finally turning around for me - and now this!!!??? It makes me bloody angry...............
I have tried all the tricks to cope with this fear - and nothing is working - nothing!
I just have to hang on for 10 days and hope that whatever comes I will find the strength to deal with it