I was sitting here at my desk this morning - drinking my first cup of coffee for the day - feeling frustrated and tired and worried and discouraged - when I looked at the calendar and realized I am really down to the wire here - 7 days left till I return to work.
I had great plans for the summer break - and I am not entirely sure I met them.
I had planned to have my car serviced - done.
I had planned on helping W find a house - done.
I had planned on putting my house on the market - done.
I had planned to get rid of the clutter - the stuff not being moved - almost done.
I had planned on getting my eyes checked and new glasses ordered - not done.
I had planned on more coffees with drakor - not done
I had planned on helping W get ready for his move - not done
I had planned on spending quality time in my secret garden reading - done
I will not make excuses for the things not done - there is no excuse. (something my mom always said - "there are no excuses") I try to convince myself I did indeed get a lot done on my list of "to do's" - but unless I complete a list - I feel like I have failed.
AND truth be told I am worried about W - he is so overwhelmed by his list of "to do's". I honestly don't know what to do to help him. I would move in there like a whirl wind and toss everything out - or take it to the Sally Ann - but W has to go through every box - read everything - see everything - before he decides what goes where.
I didn't understand that until 3 this morning (missy woke me at that ungodly hour - barfing up hair balls all over my bed !!) I realized W is basically cleaning out his family home. It isn't just HIS house !! It was the house his parents lived in for over 50 years. When I (and my brother) cleaned out my mom's house - we too had to go through everything - and I remember sitting on the floor reading love notes from my dad to her that she had kept - and crying.
So yeah I get that W has to go through everything and read - and look - and remember. It is - as well - a form of closure for him. Saying goodbye to all that he has known for 50+ years. And yeah only He can do that...............
And so here I sit with 7 days left before I go back to work - trying to work up the energy to wash all the bedding with the hairballs - get my ass out the door to run messages - and maybe tackle the next room on my list of "have to clean before I move " and still worrying a little bit about W - and wishing I could just wave a magic fairy wand and make it all right for him.