Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Musing........

I was sitting here at my desk this morning - drinking my first cup of coffee for the day - feeling frustrated and tired and worried and discouraged - when I looked at the calendar and realized I am really down to the wire here - 7 days left till I return to work.

I had great plans for the summer break - and I am not entirely sure I met them.  

I had planned to have my car serviced - done.
I had planned on helping W find a house - done.
I had planned on putting my house on the market - done.
I had planned to get rid of the clutter - the stuff not being moved - almost done.
I had planned on getting my eyes checked and new glasses ordered - not done.
I had planned on more coffees with drakor - not done
I had planned on helping W get ready for his move - not done 
I had planned on spending quality time in my secret garden reading - done

I will not make excuses for the things not done - there is no excuse.  (something my mom always said - "there are no excuses")  I try to convince myself I did indeed get a lot done on my list of "to do's" - but unless I complete a list - I feel like I have failed.

AND truth be told I am worried about W - he is so overwhelmed by his list of "to do's".  I honestly don't know what to do to help him.  I would move in there like a whirl wind and toss everything out - or take it to the Sally Ann - but W has to go through every box - read everything - see everything - before he decides what goes where. 

 I didn't understand that until 3 this morning (missy woke me at that ungodly hour - barfing up hair balls all over my bed !!) I realized W is basically cleaning out his family home.  It isn't just HIS house !!  It was the house his parents lived in for over 50 years.  When I (and my brother) cleaned out my mom's house - we too had to go through everything - and I remember sitting on the floor reading love notes from my dad to her that she had kept - and crying.  

So yeah I get that W has to go through everything and read - and look - and remember.  It is - as well - a form of closure for him.  Saying goodbye to all that he has known for 50+ years.  And yeah only He can do that............... 

And so here I sit with 7 days left before I go back to work - trying to work up the energy to wash all the bedding with the hairballs - get my ass out the door to run messages - and maybe tackle the next room on my list of "have to clean before I move " and still worrying a little bit about W - and wishing I could just wave a magic fairy wand and make it all right for him.  
 

5 comments:

Buffalo said...

W is okay. And he will keep doing ok.

You're okay. (Well, as ok as you're likely to get.)

What needs doing, will get done. One piece at a time. One item at a time. Ain't a thing.

Sir said...

Thank you for giving back 10 years of My life, butt for the record it has been 60 ( Sixty ) years since My family and I moved into this house.

As for living in this town, My GrandFather moved here back in 1902 moving from Chicago, IL from Summersworth, New Hampshire. My late Mom moved here almost 70 years ago.

W

Serafina Samadhi said...

We had to move in with Master's Mom and still have not sorted things out. The garage is full but like you I can not sort it on my own- it is almost all a job in which Master has to decide. Not everything in life is a cinch!

Anonymous said...

It took me almost 6 months to go through stuff after my mother died. It takes time to review and sort through a lifetime collection of "stuff"....

Been working to make sure my girls don't have to go through this... and a real biggie....Identifying who is in family,& friend photos. Have shoeboxes full of old photos from my mom and have no idea who the people are.

Joyce

Ordalie said...

Some time after my mother's death and while I was still reluctantly going through her stuff, I read Lydia Flem's "Final Reminder: How I Emptied My Parents' House".
The book upset me but it was also a sort of help since it showed me so many of us had had to tackle that chore in the midst of our grief.