Wednesday, April 04, 2012
Let's talk dirty
Ok..so if everyone is paying attention - I shouldn't have to define "golden showers".
The other day I was surfing around the blogs I read .. and over on Slave Interrupted, I found a piece on golden showers.
Now W has done it to me.... maybe more than once ......... but honestly I don't remember. I do remember thinking "WTF ??!!" closing my eyes and sealing my lips and thinking ok just get it over with. (great submissive response - right?? )
I didn't feel humiliated - or indignant - or owned - or .......... anything actually. I did think 'well ok I have experienced THAT .. let's check it off the list'. It most definitely wasn't a turn on (for me) ....... it was a .......... nothing.
But I am fully aware there are a whole mess of Doms and subs out there who indulge frequently in golden showers. I also know it is on most check lists. I also know I originally - many years back - had to look up what the hell a "golden shower" was. I've come a long way since those days !!
But the whole blog entry got me thinking about my reaction to golden showers. I don't have any reaction to it actually - though if W did it and insisted I swallow - we could have a problem - hell I don't even swallow yogurt!! (cheeky grin)
I do know that every once in a while I used to tease W when he would get up to go to the toilet and I would ask in my cheeky way - 'need any help??' Every once in a while he would tease back and say "yeah come hold it" ........... now THAT got a reaction out of me.. ........... hold it??? THAT would be humiliating I think.... but perhaps more awkward than humiliating. Don't ask me why that would affect me more than being peed on....... god only knows... but the thought of it sure affects me.
I have touched on humiliation play before - not sure I have thought much or talked much about degradation play - but my reaction to the whole thing is ......... not for me. I don't know - but having to step out of the persona that is me - having to change my norm - feels awkward and more like a "time out while we do this" sort of thing.
I prefer my BDSM to flow naturally - to feel natural. Over the years I have learned there are a whole mess of things that I CAN do - but don't do because I see no point in them. Examples abound......... from foot/boot worship - to golden showers (obviously) to crawling around on a leash and collar acting like some animal or other.
I have shined W's boots (is that boot blacking?? by definition I think it is )... I have (and do) make his meals and serve him..... I have cleaned his house ....... I have (and do) make the bed and tidy up...... I have (and do) go where he decides we will go ...... I have bared my ass and taken a beating.. I have spread my legs and been fucked..... BUT all those things fit me....... (and I like to think fit W as well ) I don't feel out of place .. out of the norm doing those things...... it is natural and pleasing to both of us. And for me that is what is important in our BDSM relationship. I have no desire or need to be humiliated or degraded ....... I want and need to be needed and appreciated and valued.
So for those of you who "get" golden showers (in every sense of the word) more power to you !!! But I think I will stick to cleaning the toilet ... rather than being the toilet.