But because of the monstrous bug I have been dealing with ..... the new flogger has been sitting waiting.......... until this weekend.
When I knelt over the ottoman late Saturday afternoon and lifted my eyes,.....This is what I saw draped over the edge of the toy bag...... glinting in the light...
waiting for me... waiting for W...
I lowered my head and waited........... through the blue rose paddle, the braided leather 3 fall flogger, the vegan whip and the circus whip.......... 30 minutes of excruciatingly exquisite pain.
And then his voice spoke in my ear "are you ready ??" I couldn't catch my breath - I was afraid to answer - yet knew I HAD to answer...
I nodded.
And so it began............. silver metal tips biting into my ass... hurting beyond hurt....
When it was over - and I had conquered yet another vicious toy...... my ass pounded - the blood pounded in my ears... it felt wonderful.
A few hours later I was knelt over the ottoman again....... and yet again I felt the floggers and canes and paddles and finally ...... the silver tipped dragon.... pounding into my ass... I could barely breath....... the pain filled me completely - there was nothing in my mind but an abiding deep darkness and the pain..........
The new toy left strange marks......... no bruising no blood - (well almost no blood) but strange white spots...........
Sunday morning W tried again...... I wasn't sure if I could take a third session but oh my god I was more than willing to try..........
I had no bruises - no marks one could see...... but I could feel - inside - the tenderness - the raw exposed nerves......... but still I wanted to try .. 3 sessions in two days would be a record.........
But after only a few minutes I had to stop it.. it was more than I could take... and I cried... and W comforted.......
The adrenaline had flowed - but no endophins - so I was left feeling like I was going to upchuck........ (not a nice feeling at all) I curled up on the chair under my snuggly and worked my way back to normalcy.
As usual - despite the beating I took - there were / are no marks to see. But deep inside I can feel the pain - even this morning - I know there are marks and bruises - deep inside. Sometimes it can be discouraging that there are no outward marks...... Sometimes it seems without them that somehow I haven't taken all I could take...... Sometimes I wish I could mark like others.......... but I don't .... that's just the way I am.
As for the new toy......... it joins the long list of toys I love to hate.
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