Monday, January 16, 2012

Uniquely painful

On January 1st W got a birthday present from kinky friends.  You can read about it  and see some good photos of it here......

But because of the monstrous bug I have been dealing with ..... the new flogger has been sitting waiting.......... until this weekend.

When I knelt over the ottoman late Saturday afternoon and lifted my eyes,.....This is what I saw draped over the edge of the toy bag...... glinting in the  light...



waiting for me... waiting for W...


I lowered my head and waited........... through the blue rose paddle, the braided leather 3 fall flogger, the vegan whip and the circus whip.......... 30 minutes of excruciatingly exquisite pain.

And then his voice spoke in my ear "are you ready ??" I couldn't catch my breath - I was afraid to answer - yet knew I HAD to answer... 


I nodded.


And so it began............. silver metal tips biting into my ass... hurting beyond hurt....

When it was over - and I had conquered yet another vicious toy...... my ass pounded - the blood pounded in my ears... it felt wonderful.


A few hours later I was knelt over the ottoman again....... and yet again I felt the floggers and canes and paddles and finally ...... the silver tipped dragon.... pounding into my ass... I could barely breath....... the pain filled me completely - there was nothing in my mind but an abiding deep darkness and the pain.......... 


The new toy left strange marks......... no bruising no blood - (well almost no blood) but strange white spots...........



Sunday morning W tried again...... I wasn't sure if I could take a third session but oh my god I was more than willing to try.......... 

I had no bruises - no marks one could see...... but I could feel - inside - the tenderness - the raw exposed nerves......... but still I wanted to try .. 3 sessions in two days would be a record......... 

But after only a few minutes I had to stop it.. it was more than I could take... and I cried... and W comforted....... 

The adrenaline had flowed - but no endophins - so I was left feeling like I was going to upchuck........ (not a nice feeling at all) I curled up on the chair under my snuggly and worked my way back to normalcy.  


As usual - despite the beating I took - there were / are no marks to see.  But deep inside I can feel the pain - even this morning - I know there are marks and bruises - deep inside.  Sometimes it can be discouraging that there are no outward marks...... Sometimes it seems without them that somehow I haven't taken all I could take...... Sometimes I wish I could mark like others.......... but I don't .... that's just the way I am.

As for the new toy......... it joins the long list of toys I love to hate.

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