Saturday, November 05, 2011

It all boils down to........



I have been navel gazing this week........ It started on Monday (I think it was) and just seemed to keep building and building until this morning .......... 

It started with a comment on FL about DM's (dungeon monitors - and no I don't mean video cams or baby monitors.  I mean people who prance around a play party wearing glow in the dark arm bands full of their own importance, policing how people play).... It continued on to some kids and a couple of families I am dealing with at school ....... and then just to keep the navel gazing challenging - it included people - vanilla acquaintances/friends/ ex-lovers too maybe??- who are on the edges of my life.

Each of these incidents that happened were about people crying "woe's me".  And I didn't get it... I got frustrated by the comments/the people........ It was simple to me......... I couldn't figure out why it wasn't simple to everyone else....... In my mind it all boiled down to........ "if they would JUST take responsibility for themselves - instead of making excuses" ......... but they don't take responsibility, either because they don't want to.. or don't know how.

I am working REAL hard with my kids at school on the subject of "Taking Responsibility" and I think - ok maybe it's more HOPE  - we are making progress.  BUT the adults in my life............... shrug...... not getting very far with them...... 

And it confuses me ....... on the one hand these adults make excuses for everything - and I do mean EVERYTHING - and yet they don't want advise that means they have to face up to their responsibility.  

Example - play parties and DM's....... we don't need strangers policing our scenes we don't !!  We (generic we) have friends we trust - why can't we simply ask friends to police our scenes ??? If we are going to play with someone new - have someone you trust stand and watch ...... If it is a crowd control problem then again - get someone you know to do crowd control....... We don't need "police" prowling around getting up in our business.

Example - adults not taking responsibility - you (generic you) owe a few thousand dollars for services you have received - you can't pay the bill - so you make arrangements to pay it down - then you don't - why are you all hurt and angry and insulted when the services are removed?? Take responsibility for YOUR actions - you didn't keep your end of the deal - so the deal is null and void. Makes sense to me.

Another generic YOU example - you can't let go of the past - can't move on - can't talk about anything but "woe's me" then people are gonna fast lose interest in you and your whining.  Makes sense to me.  If you - generic you - make public accusations to try and shame people into doing something don't be surprised when people (generic people) stand up to you.

Good lord - just TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your actions.......... it's all so damn easy to me.


But as it said at the beginning "The problem is - I don't think like other people".   Guess I am going to have to learn to accept that fact.......... cause trust me I ain't changing any time soon!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

OH you and I are so very much alike... I agree with EVERYTHING !

you did it / do it .. own it !

my thoughts exactly :)

-Sugar

abby said...

I so agree.....but it is so much easier to blame others and make excuses. But it is not better, not right...and it is so aggravating to those of use who think...you did it, you own it!
abby

Ordalie said...

I think it's got a name: victimisation. Since it can't be your fault, just find someone else to put the blame on.
I'd like to know if it depends on age-group or if it is a not-so-new general tendency.

Unchained Property said...

As I'm keen to say:
"Justifications and excuses are for the weak."
If you feel the need to justify or make excuses, even when you put the blame on someone else, it means that you're a weak person, probably born with a birth defect known as 'invisible spine', and that you run the risk of never actually becoming an adult, regardless of how much your body ages. I give two thumbs up, five gold stars, and a plethora of high fives for this post.