Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Honestly - there just isn't a whole lot going on around here... not physically or mentally. Can we say "dead"??
I was musing this week on a couple who left the lifestyle for a time and she mentioned to me in passing that it shocked her how many of their "friends" (in the lifestyle) didn't even call them once they were "gone". She realized that they honestly didn't have any thing in common - other than whipping and flogging and the latest BDSM gossip. I found that sad.
Well I have been "gone from the lifestyle" going on 3 weeks now. (the damn gall bladder - remember??) And truthfully haven't heard diddly squat from any of my so-called "friends" in the lifestyle. Oh wait .. I lie. One did drop by last week for coffee.. and spent most of the time we were together talking about how broke he was... and dropped a hint?? (I am not sure if it was a hint - or just a passing thought) that if someone would loan him $1,000 life would look a whole lot better.
I couldn't help but think a $1000 would make just about anyone's life a little bit easier these days.
On another note....... yesterday my principal walked passed me in the hallway and said "I don't think you are working your 7 hours a day. Send me your hours please" I was speechless. And then I was stressed. And then .. well then I got pissed off. I work 7 hours a day and then some!! So I sent her an email with my hours clearly documented. At the end of the email I wrote that I would NEVER cheat the system!!! Later on she commented that she hadn't meant me to take it that way.
Well how was I supposed to take a comment like that??!!! Don't you dare tell me I am overly sensitive.. or over reacting! This morning my hours were 7 - 10 am. I found it interesting that at 9:35 my intercom rang - it was the main office. However I was on the phone with a parent and didn't bother acknowledging the office. I figured I would get back to them. After 2 more intercom calls, the secretary wandered down to my office and told me to pick up 101 (a call on hold) I nodded and said "when I get off this phone call". I got the distinct impression they are checking on me.......... and I am getting more pissed. I think from now on I will document every time I work 5 or 10 minutes longer than I am supposed to.. I will document every time I pop in to the dollar store to pick up some little thing for the program.......... grrrrrrrrrrrrr..... I hate being doubted.
I really appreciated kaila's comment on my blog the other day. In part she said:
"It's not that you don't want to serve or be the slave you know you can be, but you are unable. ............. The fact that Warren has been there for you speaks volumes about his character. I don't know either he or you enough to make an overall judgement nor should I, but it is obvious he "gets" the idea of the responsibilities that go along with ownership."
and I know I have heard it before.. but for some reason it hit home this time. So on Sunday afternoon when the doorbell rang and there stood Warren - I felt like the luckiest person alive. The hardest thing about being sick and waiting .. is the waiting alone. I don't know about you folks.. but my imagination just runs wild .. especially at 3 in the morning.. and google (god bless it's little search engine) just sends me off wildly checking and double checking symptoms and diseases.. Having Warren stop by for a couple of hours of chit chat helped ease some of the loneliness and worry and stress.
My doctor arrives back in town tomorrow. I am hoping against hope that in the next couple of days I can touch base with her and maybe line up a surgeon. I am also hoping that she - being the miracle worker that I believe she is - might just get this whole process moving a long a little faster.
Oh yeah .. when Warren arrived on Sunday he brought with him another birthday gift for me. A split blade fantasy knife. It is sitting and waiting until I am mentally and physically ready to play again. The split blade knife makes the most interesting patterns.
We had snow over the weekend.. which of course got me thinking Christmas.. which of course just depressed me. I have no idea at all about what to get for family and friends this year.. and I can't help but wonder if I will even be around for the celebrations........... I keep thinking I should get out and get the shopping done NOW......... just in case. But I have little to no energy left by the end of the day .. or the end of the week.
Maybe if worse comes to worse my kids and grandkids would move in for a day and decorate and turn my house into a Christmas fantasy land. maybe?
And that's about it for the news around here in the Great White North. Not much of an adventure going on.......... no BDSM...... not much of anything.
But this too shall pass............. eventually.