Saturday, October 02, 2010

mixed feelings


I know I have written about my upcoming birthday....... and I read the comments.. and yes I know the alternative to having a birthday is not what I want.. and yes I know age is only a number.. and yes I know all the platitudes one offers up at birthday time..........and I know I should just "suck it up buttercup"

BUT


I am very conflicted about this birthday. (oh yeah and before I go any further - my birthday is not till the end of October). Baby daughter called and she suggested "coffee and cake" in the afternoon...... on the Saturday .. cause she has to go to work on the Monday........ and all I could think was "cake and coffee"???
Why is it no one can see past the "tough old bird" act?? Why is it my kids.. MY KIDS.. don't even want to celebrate a big milestone in my life???

It got to the point yesterday that I was even thinking I should throw my own party.... cause ya know what.. as much as I HATE the fact I am gonna be 60 and feel old in comparison to everyone around me... It is still MY birthday.. my celebration.. and damn it.. I want to be spoiled and celebrated and valued.

BUT it kinda defeats the purpose if I plan my own celebration doesn't it??? And besides ... biggest fear.. what if I plan a celebration and no one comes. who wants to find that out??? on their birthday??!!

So maybe I will give myself an extra special birthday present.. something just for me.... die my hair red or blonde or pink...... buy a red hat and actually wear it!! Maybe I will actually join the Society of Red hats and be proud of it!! Maybe I will just be another "Aunt Olive". (and that's not such a bad thing)

And one more thing I will do...... I will blow raspberries at all the 40 somethings that say I am OLD.... cause I know ........one day they too will be turning 60 ........ and pay back is a bitch.




4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't worry about your daughters, I think they just don't know what you would like and are wary!
If you feel up to it, tell them it's important for you.

Anonymous said...

You could also, wait and reserve all judgment until after your cake and coffee? Perhaps its spectacular coffee?

PKB said...

Hi S,

I can soooo sympathize with your feelings. I just turned 55 and I don't nearly feel DONE yet. But my outside and inside don't nearly match!!!! I have so much more to live and give... It's hard to live in a world where all the value is given to youth, but I figure that I'm the captain of my own damn ship. I haven't followed anyone's path so far, so what the hell, no need to change now. Embrace it. You are fan-fabulous, no matter WHAT your age.

Bisous,
Paula

Anonymous said...

When your birthday arrives, celebrate in any way you want!!! and let people know that you are a hot and vibrant and wonderful woman -- no matter what your age. Be proud that you are 60 and look great! Feel great! Are great! (I will turn 60 in June and plan on hiking up a mountain and screwing my brains out -- maybe not at the same time, but still....