Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I had in the works - a BDSM birthday party for myself. Warren and I had found this cute little intimate dungeon that was for rent on weekends. I had invited 18 of our closest most intimate friends to come and help me celebrate. We had even purchased loads and loads of helium filled balloons (well they were to be filled) I had planned the menu - and had some ideas formulating in my head for some fun activities for the evening.
Then I got sick.
This past weekend I kept thinking god only knows how long it will be before I am really UP to partying again.. never mind receiving a really good long spanking (birthday spanks and all that!!)
And so this morning I sent out emails to everyone canceling my birthday party. Honestly it is all I can do to drag myself through my daily routine - never mind think about partying till the wee hours of the morning.
I have mixed emotions about this cancellation - I am sad - very sad - but I am also relieved. I kept saying "I will feel better soon" only I wasn't - feeling better soon. And I have to admit that this might be as good as it gets for a little while. AND "this" just isn't good enough to party.
So now I have cleared my calendar of social events. Freed myself up to come home and lie on the sofa and nap when I am not at work. To feel crappy without having to apologize for it. To just hang on and ride this out to the bitter end.
I am not sure how much I will be writing here in the interim... Life is gonna be rather dull and boring around here........... but when I have inspiration I will come and write......... Otherwise I will curl up on the sofa and nap...... and wait...... for strength and enthusiasm and energy to return.