Monday, July 05, 2010
Words........ we use them to try and express our deepest thoughts, emotions, wants and needs.
Sometimes we are good at using them correctly - to be understood and heard. Sometimes we are not so good ...... and the words fail us and we are misunderstood and listened to but not heard.
Some people use curt words - short and to the point. Others use thousands of words .. words upon words...... words spilling out and over flowing and filling up time and space. Neither one necessarily is any better understood.
Despite dictionaries and all ways and means of understanding words... we each have our own definition of what a word means. And we each hear parts of the words - not all the words, not all the meaning.
In face to face conversations we use other prompts as well as the words - we use body language and eye contact...... and even distractions around us to try and interpret the words we are hearing.
The written word is possibly the most difficult to understand - as there are no emotions that come through - it is impossible to see the frown, the lifted eyebrow, the tear in the corner of the eye, the cheeky grin, the smirk.
And then there are the words behind the spoken words. The mixed messages we send out. I can remember my mother - when I was all of 4 years old - dressing me in a little white dress - with white socks and white sandals - brushing my hair and putting a red ribbon in it.... and telling me to go out and play and have fun - but don't get dirty! Yeah mixed messages !! The words behind the words.
I write words........ reams of words ....... nearly every day. I write them because they ramble around in my head and get louder and louder. Some days they are quiet - and I don't write...... but most of the time they are loud and annoying ........ and so I write them....... mostly here....... and a lot of the time I am surprised by the comments I get.. I wonder what language I had posted in....... because obviously I hadn't been understood...
There are good words and bad words......... and by bad words I am not referring to the four letter variety...... hell FUCK is only a word......... SHIT is only a word - get over yourselves... bad words are words that cut straight through to the heart - they wound and they scar. Wounds heal - scars do not. A wise man once told me the wounds would heal - but the scars would remain forever. And if I poked the scars they would always hurt...... always........ but just a little bit. I shouldn't be afraid of the hurt from the scars because it was a way of learning.....of remembering.. of growing and moving forward.
For me positive words are like little gifts - especially when they come unsolicited ... "I am proud of you" being an excellent example. "Proud" is a powerful word.... it makes your heart beat faster, it makes you try harder, it makes YOU proud.
"Sorry" is a sad word - most of the time I do not accept "sorry" ...... it is an easy word to say - and one that is bandied about way too much. "sorry" is a word that should come with major attitude changes....... "sorry" should be a verb that means I am going to change.. I am never going to do that again. Most of the time it is not a verb.
Have you ever noticed how often people use words to fill the silence. Why does silence worry so many people?? Silence can be a good thing. It can be a comfortable time of coming together and being content with whom you are and content with the people you are with.
Most of the time I have noticed in a large group of people I am more quiet than talkative. I like to listen. Listening to other people teaches me so much more about them than when they try to tell me who they are.
The words from a song "Words and words are all I have to steal your heart away" keep running through my head. Words do steal, and blind, and hurt. But they can also support and heal and strengthen. Words are powerful things, and we should use them carefully.