Tuesday, June 08, 2010
I have encountered a couple of interesting phenomena in the last month of being a "free woman" ..........
The first is this freedom to play with whomever I wish.
At first I was very shy about the whole idea. Again I equate the whole phenomenon with dancing. After so many years of dancing with one partner I was shy about dancing with someone else... what if I stepped on their toes?? What if they didn't dance to the same music as me??
But over time I have become a bit more daring.... and have agreed to play with a couple of folks. Most by now have watched me play with S&S and are fully aware of what I am looking for in a play session. Some have even changed their wording from "Want to play with me ??" to .. "Can I warm you up?" (which I find rather amusing)
Sunday afternoon is a good example. A Dominant I know quite well - for many years - approached me with the warm up invitation. It is nice to know that even Dominants know their own limits. I joked with him - when he started with a rather nice hand spanking, that 4 hits was not a warm up!! And he was quite welcome to continue until his hand hurt. (cheeky grin)
The other phenomenon is how many Dominants seem to think that because I am no longer owned, and am willing to play with others.... that I am also open to sexual play.
It amazes me how many Dominants seem to think it is perfectly ok to have a bad case of the "wandering hand" syndrome.
Now I don't get that........ honestly I don't. I negotiated for a spanking not for a spanking with sex thrown in as a side dish. I think sex and sexual touching should be negotiated separately. Just because I say "yes you may spank me" does not automatically mean I am open to be fucked. Let's clarify the slut word.. you can call me a "pain slut" but don't ever try calling me - or thinking of me as - a slut.
If your hand has problems with traveling beyond the negotiated areas - you are gonna be told firmly to stop. If you don't understand the word "stop" trust me - that is going to be the very last time you get to spank me.
It all seems very simple to me... I am a masochist. I get sexual fulfillment from pain. I don't need anything else thank you very much.
Some day down the road - I may start looking for full service Dominant (cheeky grin) but for now I am happy in my role of masochist.