Friday, March 19, 2010

Dark night


my brain was the first to wake up....... and i laid snuggled under the comforter hoping it was almost time to get up........... but knowing, from the stillness, it probably wasn't.

my eyes opened to deep dark blackness. Only the illuminated numbers on the clock kept me from thinking i was blind. It was 3:03 ........ in the A. M.

For the last two days i have been very tired........ so very sleepy. i have been in bed early and fast asleep within minutes of closing my eyes. i have napped when i got home from work .... i have slept and slept.

So i shouldn't have been surprised that i was awake at 3:03 in the a.m. After all how much sleep can one body put up with?

The memories were swirling around inside my brain - the voices murmuring - and i tried to sort them out... to have them make sense - but i failed. So i turned my mind to the last two days. To the emptier house - to the hours at work i have put in.... and that stuck........ the work. i have become a workaholic. (which in my case is not a bad thing)

Monday is a big celebration with my kids........... we are celebrating Dr. Seuss' birthday. And on Wednesday when the house was being emptied, i decided to make it the best ever celebration ........... so i threw myself into the project.

i have made huge characters from the Dr Seuss books - Thing 1 and Thing 2 (they were the easiest to make) and Horton - who wasn't that easy at all - The Cat in the Hat and of course his HAT - and some other unnamed or unknown (to me) characters . i worked late last night painting them and cutting them out and getting them ready to be hung around the room first thing Monday. i made paint spots from the Cat in the Hat to be hung, and i brought work home. what work?? well balloons of course - 100 balloons to be blown up on Sunday to fill the room with colours and fun and excitement. i have even ordered 3 Dr Seuss cakes from my favourite pastry maker........ check out her blog
The castle cake that graces the page was made for my other kiddies a year or so ago.

So at 3 a.m this morning i was running through check lists for Monday - done done and done !!

It would be nice if the rest of my life was in such order.

Today i honestly can't face the world - i know it in my heart. i have a brief meeting with the powers to be at the Board this morning then i am going to come home, crawl into some comfy clothes and curl up and (knowing me) snooze.


4 comments:

Florida Dom said...

Morningstar: Great to see that you're into the Dr. Seuss celebration. You need something to get your mind off things.

You need to do more things like that to distract you as you process your pain.

And you know all your cyber friends are rooting for you and thinking about you.

Many cyber hugs.

FD

slave freya said...

Dear Morningstar,

Be kind to yourself. Don't forget
that you are an amazing person.

In peace,
slave freya

Anonymous said...

Seeking refuge in sleep is a sure sign of nervous breakdown. Do fight against it!
Orage

viemoira said...

I bet the Dr. Seuss celebration will be a blast with all your hard work! Certainly the kids will enjoy!