Wednesday, February 17, 2010


i belong to a couple of mailing lists...... in the beginning i was posting to them regularly - now - not so much. It isn't because i don't have anything to say.... it's more that i have said it all before so many times.

The other day i was half following a thread that started off with the usual "i think i might be submissive - how does one know?" i kept an eye on the thread cause ya know....... it's been so long since i had those "could i be submissive feelings" (ok ok so maybe it's more that i wanted to see what half assed stupid comments that line would bring out)

i won't bore you with all the usual comments ........ but there was one comment that mentioned there was more to being submissive than accepting pain. Now that sounded like something i might say...... so i kept on reading the following emails............. finally the initiator of the subject came back saying "giving someone complete power over me sounds exciting".

sigh......... major sigh.........

Complete power over someone sounds exciting yes........ and in the beginning maybe it is exciting for both Dom and sub ......... but i am here to say ........ after 9 years of this power exchange - the excitement has died out.

i am NOT saying i don't want this complete power exchange anymore..... nope .. i am quite happy with it.......... BUT....... i am here to say there comes a time when the orders don't come flying fast and furious anymore. The corrections don't come fast and furious anymore. The whole 'feeling' of power exchange doesn't come fast and furious anymore.

It is just the way i live my life.

It's as normal as making morning coffee... doing the washing and ironing.. making a meal. It is what it is. i don't need orders anymore nor do i need corrections (which is as it should be).

Like i said..... it is the way i live my life, the newness has gone... and yeah maybe some of the excitement. i don't get butterflies the size of elephants stomping around in my belly anymore at the thought of Sir coming over..... i don't get butterflies the size of elephants stomping around in my belly anymore when the whips come out......... hell i don't even get a red ass like i used to !!!

Does that mean the excitement is gone???

Maybe - but what has replaced it.......... the deep abiding love/respect i have for Sir and He for me (at least i hope!!!) is far more meaningful than a quick excitement fix.

So for all those newbies who are stumbling around trying to figure things out....... enjoy the excitement for now......... but my true wish for you is that you find your way through the frenzy of the newness and come out the other side - not jaded by your experience - but with a deep abiding love and respect for your partner that will last a life time.


Buffalo said...

The new, the excitement factor, morphs into something less frantic but no less intense.

I doubt the 100th bungee jump gives you as much of an adrenalin rush as the first few.

BlazngScarlet said...

The 'newness' wears off in all relationships .... and it becomes infinitely more intimate, and intrinsically more exciting.
Well, the really good relationships anyway.

swan said...

What you have discovered, over time, is a lesson that can only be learned with patience and perseverance. There is no way to replace that. Time is the teacher, and there is no way to learn the lessons time teaches without becoming the student in that school.

hugs, swan

viemoira said...

Just wanted to say this is a wonderfully honest post.

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