Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sometimes it is just damn hard to fit BDSM into a weekend.. especially a busy weekend.. like last weekend.
Nor did it help that i was in A mood... maybe it would have helped my mood.. who knows??? but i was in A mood.. and so the whooping that Sir tried to give me Sunday morning just didn't work very well... it didn't feel "good" .. it had me white knuckling it and wishing it didn't hurt so bad.. wishing i could get on top of it... which didn't happen....i don't even remember which toy was my undoing..... i know Sir started with the damn cane.. and i HATE the cane.... and moved upwards from that... i just know i had had more than i wanted and landed up crying - which usually - 9 times out of 10 - makes Sir uneasy and so He stops.
If He had continued would i have been able to move on?? Maybe..... shrug.. who knows?? maybe i would have cried my broken hearted tears out and been able to move on....
BUT as it is.. Sir stopped .. and i retreated to my lil chair and curled up and was glad it was over.. (not a very good sub was i?)
Later.. in the afternoon..... Sir called me to come to Him... i was thinking 'oh dear god He is going to try and whoop me again" and felt my stomach knot up.... But instead He never moved from His prone position on the sofa.. He just looked up at me and said "Service Me".
My brain was really slow to respond. 'Service Me' doesn't happen very often anymore.. hardly at all actually. Finally my subbie brain processed the command and i got down on my knees and fumbled (god i never get any better at it!!) at His belt and fly.. but managed to get everything open and down... and got to work "servicing Him" ...........
Almost immediately my brain shifted gears.... my mind's eye could see the image created.. ass in the air.. head down.. mouth moving slowly methodically over and around and up and down on Sir's cock.......... and oh my god i found the image HOT!!! It curls my toes.. it does !! (which is why i love the picture i used today.. to me her toes are curled too... and she looks so damn hot giving him the blow job!)
And the other part of 'Service Me' is that it never ever evolves into sex...... i never get played with .. or cum. It is simply a service ............ which is objectifying.. in a way. (not that i would want to become an object to Sir.... but still .. on the odd occasion... in the right circumstances.. it too is very HOT)
In two weeks we are heading off to BDSM camp - that will probably be the next opportunity we get to have a session......... and of course i am stressing like mad that i will not be able to take it....... cause like .. ya know.. i haven't been conditioned.. my ass will be soft and i will screech.. and cry and slobber and make a fool of myself and Sir.. sigh.......... umm of course i could just pack the really easy toys.. the limp wristed wet noodle toys .. the ones that sound bad but hardly make an impact .. and i can act really well.. yelp and scream and make a nonsense so everyone thinks i am taking massive amounts of pain.. i could right???
but ya all know.. i won't.