Wednesday, July 08, 2009

challenges


Well first the good news.. no... first the excellent news............

i had the job interview yesterday.................

AND..................

you guessed it .......

i got the job !!!!!!

Now i love a challenge - which is probably one of the reasons things weren't going so well at the old school............ i could do the job blindfolded with one arm tied behind my back............

i had a tour of the new school yesterday....... and the history.......... and wow ....... i almost turned it down.......
First off - the school is HUGE.. with staircases to the second floor all over the place..hallways that twist and turn.. and have dead ends.. how do you know where you are?? i asked for a map and have been promised one... cause the school IS that big !!!

Second - the programs have not been running well over the last god only knows how many years......... they have a video library that would put any video rental place to shame............. the kids - apparently - did nothing but watch videos every single day ............. so there are no supplies to speak of .. at all...none... nadda.. zip zilch....


Third - there is absolutely NO money.........none.. nadda.. zip zilch. The programs are in the RED............. though what will be my new office has brand spanking new equipment/desks/bookshelves (which hold their video library) and nice new storage cupboards with locks.........they are totally empty of supplies so why they need locks is beyond me...

BUT god i love a challenge.. my baby girl's response to the challenges that face me was "in two years you will have it up and running properly mom"..... and Sir's response was .. "you'll have the place making money in a year ".... such faith !!!
Though if truth be told.. in my old job i was always ending the year with a HUGE balance (and getting my wrist slapped for it too - go figure!!)
i started 20 years ago with a room and borrowed tables... no office.. no supplies.. no nothing... 15 kiddies and when i left in June they had $50,000 in the bank.. with a year's supply of craft/science/games in the cupboards... and 122 kids registered for the new year.......... so yay.. i am pretty sure i am up for the challenge..

i was thinking last night.. it is funny (well at least to me) .. when my dad retired he got a retirement job.. (no not at Walmart) but for some bankruptcy firm.. he would go into companies that were in the red.. and work at shutting them down........ me on the other hand.. i am going into a program that is bankrupt and my job is to turn it around.......... weird eh??

my second challenge for the day....... and more along the lines of BDSM which is what this blog is supposed to be about.............

Sir told me last night to "vibe myself" when i went to bed. Funny thing is.. i was thinking just last week - how my "desires" seem to be drying up............ but then i thought .. no not drying up.. it just seems that the longer i go without any sex .. of any sort.. my body just kinda shuts down......... the desires dry up... i wonder if it is a post menopausal thing.... OR.........a self preservation thing........

So i wasn't the least bit horny when i took out the magic vibe and attached the one head attachment i have to it... it took a lot of work just to get myself wet enough to insert the damn thing... i landed up imagining what it would be like to be taken forcefully (by Sir - not some unknown man) and i could hear Sir's voice whispering in my ear to stop belly aching about being dry etc....

That lil fantasy worked to get me wet enough to insert.. and i did vibe myself.. and i did have an orgasm.. not an earth shaking orgasm.. a lil one.... and i did have an excellent sleep.......... but the whole thing was a challenge of sorts.........

Now this morning i am sitting here .. remembering the vibe session and finding myself getting twitchy.......... so i am guessing... that this lack of interest/desire is more a self preservation thing.. more than a menopausal thing...........

Challenges can be stressful........... but for some of us........ challenges make getting out of bed in the morning so damn interesting !!!

7 comments:

kaya said...

Congrats!

(On both successes. :D )

swan said...

Congratulations on the new job challenge ahead of you... I can "hear" the gears turning already as you begin to plan your strategy ;-)

As for that sexual desire thing... I really do think it is a huge mixture of emotions and reactions and responses that wrap themselves up to influence the way we see and experience ourselves sexually once we enter the land of "menopause." It isn't that it is gone, just very, very different, and that difference takes some getting used to. It requires that we learn the territory afresh. How we approach THAT challenge makes all the difference.

hugs, swan

anna said...

HUGE congratulations to you!!!

selkie said...

does the Happy Pants Dance and I TOLD YOU SO LOl - oops was that my "outside voice"? Agreed, it is a challenge but I know in my gut you are more than up to it! Truly, I thik all of us need a shaking up now and again - it keeps life fresh!

and god KNOWS our sexuality can be capricious at the best of times! I also don't think it necessarily menopause - but from experience, yeah, the body shuts down and seals tight when it feels either a threat, emotinally upset or a long period of quiet.

Buffalo said...

Good for you, morningstar. I look forward to reading about how you meet the myriad challenges that await you.

T said...

Woo! Hoo!!!!

Just KNEW they would pick the bestest of the bunch!

happy-dancing,
T

PK said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!