Thursday, March 05, 2009

very private thoughts








Come sit.. i really need to get something off my chest...












And please don't tsk tsk me.. or say i am making mountains out of mole hills.. for some reason this really hit me last night.. like a punch in the stomach or a slap across the face...


Ok.. the gist of it..............


Last evening after dinner.. i came into the living room - having done the dishes.. and there sitting on top of my pc was the vibrator. i looked at it.. kinda smiled.. and asked Sir what it was for.,... (yeah i know stupid question) Once Sir had "drawn me a picture" i asked if i could wait for a bit.. digest my dinner - cause truthfully - horny was not what i was feeling last night.

i stalled as long as possible.. but eventually Sir put His foot down and the vibrator was gonna get used....

Now i didn't plug it in cause it really did seem to have a fair amount of charge left in the batteries... and (this may be TMI) i used as much spit as i could muster - cause when i say i wasn't in the mood.. i truly wasn't in THE mood.... turned it on and started playing with myself - trying to work up some kind of interest in it.

Now Sir had set the mood nicely - another nice fire.. soft lighting........

BUT nothing was happening.. i do believe i told Sir that my pussy was virtually fused shut. "sucks to be me" cause that vibrator was going in.., and i was gonna have an orgasm for Sir's amusement.. (and the more difficulties i developed the more fun it became for Sir )

So i was lying back on the sofa .. legs bent up and out.. and letting the magic vibrations do their work.. and it was sorta working but not really ... i wasn't getting that tingling in my lower belly that i get when things are coming together...Then Sir picked up a leather strap and started strapping my inner thighs.... and oh baby !!! it was like someone threw a switch... my ass was wiggling and those vibrations were the most wonderful feelings.. and that damn vibrator slipped in like a hot knife through butter.

My world was starting to warm up.. and my belly was tightening quite nicely..... when.. wouldn't you know it.. the damn batteries started slowing down.. and no matter how hard i tried to keep the feelings they were ebbing faster than the vibrator was dying......

i sighed and told Sir it was no use i was gonna have to plug it in. talk about ruining the mood !!! Sir sat back down in His chair... and i got up and fiddled with the cord.. and the plug and finally got the damn thing plugged in and vibrating at top speed again...

BUT the mood was gone... and as i lay there with my legs bent up and out .. and the vibrator doing it's best to bring back the tightening in my lower belly ............. i realized what i really wanted.. really truly wanted..

was the leather strap hitting my thighs again.


i laid there filled with - i am not really sure what emotions.... i know i felt embarrassed to ask Sir to strap me again.... it seemed so......... perverted.

But i did.. ask that is.. .and Sir did.. strap me that is........

And i had a very nice orgasm thank you very much for asking.............

BUT i was left reeling after wards..
left feeling "what is wrong with me?"
left feeling somehow.. kinda.. dirty - like the first time i ever masturbated and i thought how dirty it made me cause "nice girls did not EVER masturbate" and now .. now i get off with a vibrator going full blast.. and Sir using leather straps to hit my thighs.... my god .. how perverted is that !!! and i ASKED for it !!!!

i personally think it was my "asking for it " that did it.... turned it perverted / dirty in my mind... usually sex is in the middle of a session.. when i am dripping / gushing buckets and already pleading for an orgasm... this time i had to "ask for it" which means i can't pretend it was all HIS idea can i? (so to speak) ..

You'd think by the time you get to my age... things like this just wouldn't throw ya......... but this threw me.... BIG TIME.

Though in the morning sunshine.. with Sir smiling at me.. (is it a knowing type of smile?? a "I told you so" smile?? ) i know if it ever happens again - this need to be slapped/hit .... i will ask again... cause DAMN .. in the long run it WAS so good !!!

6 comments:

  1. grins.. I'm sorry but this made me SMILE .. that you are embarassed about asking LOL ... it seems so funny! I think it is becuase you grumble and whine about being strapped and hit and you're right, having to ASK means you DO like it ... it is something coming FROM you not just becuase it is FOR him ..

    I'm laughing WITH you incidentally not AT you .and I'll just be your Sir was tickled pink ....

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  2. littleone,

    Just for your information what I used wasn't a leather strap but rather the cut-off extras of your new car's floor mats :-))

    See why I don't throw away things, they DO cum in handy....

    Sir,
    Owner of you

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  3. Being serious for a change, I'm thinkin' the "perverseness" gives you more bang for your bucks. Sort of "forbidden fruit is the tastiest."

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  4. I forget if it was Pavlov or B.F. Skinner, but one of those guys explained it: conditioned response.

    Seems pretty clear to me. Besides, when you find what works, don't mess with it or over think it.

    Or, as is often the case, did I misunderstand the question?

    Upton

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  5. Its not the kill, its the thrill of the chase!

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  6. I've got a whole jumble of thoughts about this particular scenario...

    First, I am just glad that, however it came to pass, you both got what worked for you. That isn't a small thing in our world don't you know?

    Second, I understand why it feels "dirty" and "perverted" to you -- it probably would to me, too. And, that simple fact bothers me. Why is it that we are so burdened with the out-dated conditioning that tells us that what we enjoy and what we need sexually is somehow a BAD thing? How terribly sad; for you and for me and for countless others that are in the same boat right along with us.

    Then, I am impressed. Impressed by your willingness to go where your mind tells you not to, in order to be who you need to be. Bravo!

    Finally, part of me really wishes that I had a similar story to tell... Good for you, is all I've got to say.

    hugs, swan

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