Thursday, January 29, 2009
What's love got to do with it?
For the last - almost a week - i have been doing some navel gazing....... i can not explain to anyone what is going on in my head... maybe it is nothing more than January blah's... i have been prone to them in other years.. where i want to lock the doors and keep the world out... i haven't had anything of interest to say.... i haven't had anything cute or bratty to say.. i haven't even had any wise and wonderful things to say........ i have been locked behind thick doors keeping everyone at bay.........
But thanks to a few folk who came knocking on my thick wooden doors.. i have slowly realized i am missed .. and fretted about .. when i close those doors. BUT those emails alone aren't responsible for my coming out of seclusion.....
i will try and explain.........
i have always said to any prospective Doms/Dommes - don't love me so much that You can't hurt me (i know you have read that here before) ..... The other day i begged Sir to love me enough to beat me silly ....... and He asked (poor Sir ) if this was some sort of subbie test?? and He repeated my pat line about loving too much !!!
When i am in this "lock the doors and keep the world out" mood i rarely come on the pc.. i don't want to know how wonderful your life is with your Master.. how wonderful and painful the sessions are.. how many blow jobs you have given.. or how many orgasms you have had... (jealousy is not a nice feature in a submissive) ..... so i haven't really been reading........ except for one or two favourite blogs..
One of those blogs is a new one for me... It is entitled The Wrong Side of the Hill... i came to find it because the owner of said blog has left some tongue in cheek comments here from time to time...... and because i loved .. LOVED.. his nick.......... "Mr. Upton Ogood".....
The other day he wrote a piece on politics and then a bit on BDSM .. actually that bit was his opinion on something written on another blog (you know how convoluted these things can get!!)
Mr. Upton Ogood wrote:
Yes...love can get in the way...it can't help but get in the way. You can hold-up or hold back because of concerns for your bottom and thus disappoint. Conversely, you can go way over the top because you expect that the bottom will want to please you and thus disappoint as well. So, sure, love can get in the way. But too, love is how you can find in yourself things that will serve your bottom.
And .. as i said to Him in a comment..... it finally got my ole brain percolating..
Actually it was the last little bit.. "love is how you find in yourself things that will serve your bottom" Maybe my thinking has been screwed up all these years.. maybe i should request that my Dominants love me enough to beat me and fuck me and keep me totally off kilter.......
love me enough to keep me focused
love me enough to chase away the stresses of the week with a good beating
love me enough to force me on my knees when the knees won't bend
love me enough to humiliate me
love me enough to make me do all those things i dread and hate
i think Mr. Upton Ogood has it right....... it is love - a deep abiding love inside - that gives the Dominant the strength to do unimaginable things to His submissive....
And in return .. it is the deep and abiding love inside the submissive that gives her the strength to accept willingly.