Sunday, November 09, 2008
Sir took this weekend off from me because He has been so busy all week tending to everyone else's needs.. and because today His legion is holding a Remembrance Day service and He needs to be there. It just didn't make sense for Him to drive all the way over here on Friday and turn around and drive all the way back on Saturday night so He could be up and at 'em at the crack of dawn today......... it had nothing to do with my sub drop ..........or my need.. or anything else about me - the world does not revolve around me... and that was my mantra yesterday.. when the bad thoughts would creep up into my head.. and the soft voices would say - "you put too much pressure on Him.. that is why He is not here - it is YOUR fault".
Nevertheless - thoughts did swirl around my mind yesterday.......... my expectations versus His expectations... and how to make Him understand that i am OK .. I AM OK ! .. with things as they were ... as they are.. i know this man i call Sir.. i know what makes Him "freeze" as i put it last night in a chat with Him... there is no need to freeze !!
And i know Sir can put more pressure on Himself than i ever could....... i mentioned a few posts back.. about a "Pandora's box" we have........ actually not "we" but Sir........ it has not been opened - but it is there.. and i am sure - in my heart of hearts - that this pandora's box is causing it's own minor stresses - to open or not to open.. and it doesn't matter that i say this box holds no great draw for me.. i AM happy now... could i be more happy?? Maybe - but i AM happy now..........But it is Sir's pandora to face not mine.
OH lordie - i am rambling.. and i am not even sure where i was going with this........ so many of you have been concerned about me.. about Sir.. we are fine... working our way through "stuff" both literal and figurative .. but we are fine ..
This morning (after another yucky sleep - for some stupid reason Sir is the best sleeping aid anyone has found for me) i awoke to a task email from Sir... besides the tasks He set down last night - which were - to do the laundry... make a casserole (so i have decent food to eat this week) and to rest !!! This morning He has added - i am to wear both ankle and wrist cuffs all day......... every two hours i am to masturbate - and i am allowed to cum every four hours....... and i am to gag myself between 10 and 12 and 2 and 4 (so don't anyone phone me during those hours !!! Cause it is gonna sound like a reverse dirty phone call - just a whole lot of heavy breathing)
And so today Sir is off with the Legion to a Remembrance Day service.. He will do His thing.. and i.. well i will do the laundry.. make a casserole.. wear my cuffs.. masturbate ..gag myself .. and rest...........
Life is good ...... when you remember.