Friday, August 29, 2008
i was outside yesterday...... taking a 5 minute break from the bedlam inside .......... sitting quietly in my car listening to the birds singing.. noticing that the leaves have started to change out on the island............... mediating in my own way...... quieting myself down.. centering myself.. letting my mind go where it will..
When i had this tightening in my belly.. excitement - butterflies- nervousness ..
And then i had this flash of a picture in my head..
i was on my hands and knees -
i had a leash attached to a collar around my neck..
my head was down..
my upper body was resting on my elbows ...
i was exhausted and sweaty and dirty
my face was streaked with tear stains
And in that flash of a moment's picture i knew i wanted this.... i wanted to be so used.. so beaten.. so humiliated that i was done.. spent.. and sated...
That flash of a momentary picture made me wet .. made me long .. made me crave.. made me fear my very own inspiration.