Thursday, March 27, 2008

Reconciliation

When i was going through my "dry spell" i asked you folks for questions... things you didn't know about me that you would like to know........ i haven't forgotten those questions...... and am going to use one this morning.............



How do you reconcile your BDSM world with the outside world? (Work/Family/Society) Are you open about what you do?

Sometimes - from where i sit - i don't see things quite the way an outsider might see them........ so i don't think Sir and i "reconcile" our BDSM with the outside world..... though others might say we reconcile it a lot ...........

In the beginning Sir had His trilogy that He would never interfere in.. work family health. For example - if i was having problems with my daughters, He left me to sort them out..... and didn't interfere - didn't tell me what to do... didn't tell them what to do........... if things were going badly at work, Sir would bite his tongue.. and i didn't have health issues per say when we were first together......

Fast forward a bit.......... and now Sir is involved in all aspects of my life... health work AND family. i am His.. totally. If something rocks the boat that is our life Sir does whatever is needed to right that boat and anchor it firmly again in the rough seas........

Mostly that anchoring involves protecting me... supporting me.. when health issues raised their ugly heads a few years back Sir was right beside me through the tests.. through the results... always with positive words and thoughts that things would get better.. It was no different this time when i faced the biopsy and all the scary things that come from biopsies..

When work crashed down around my ears three years ago........ Sir put the pedal to the metal and was at school in 30 minutes to pull me into His strong arms.. to pack up my office and hustle me out of school and home.. it was Sir who called the union and the Human Resources office.. It was Sir who organized my appointments.. and even took me to my first appointment. And it was Sir who helped me heal........

Does the outside world know about the details of our relationship...... NO. They don't need to know.. all they know is that i have a caring loving relationship. Our friends don't really know.. but if they wanted to ask questions we would answer them truthfully.......

Do my girls know about the relationship ...... YES. And before you all choke on your coffee... my girls were in their 20's when i told them... youngest daughter does not know the intimate details - she has no desire to know...... she accepts our way of life as something that makes "mom" happy and that is all that is important to her.. my eldest daughter.. well that was a bit of a funny story.....

She and i had been separated for a bit..... and i hadn't told her.. all she knew was that i had someone new in my life... then one Easter i had to take her downstairs - downstairs where the play room is...... and as i bounced down the stairs i realized 'OH MY GOD - she might see in the room.. she might see the toys.. ' and so as i quickly swished her around the corner into the 'safe' room........ i pulled the door closed behind me and decided she and i had to have a rather weird "mom and daughter talk"......... not quite the normal birds and bees talk .........

She sat listening and then exclaimed "there is a name for that??!!" (BDSM) she had had a few boyfriends who liked being spanked... she had all sorts of web sites she had been visiting. That Easter brunch lasted long into the evening - after the rest of the family had left..... with eldest daughter asking all sorts of questions...... Eldest daughter now attends the odd munch when scheduling permits.. she has been to more than a few private and public play parties...... and she is fully and totally immersed in the lifestyle - as a Dominant.

When Sir and i venture out into the vanilla world - there are often times little things that we do that keep us focused on who we are in this big bad world..... for example.. some days i will wear a rope bra out...... or a full rope body harness (under my clothes of course!!) other times i will wear the tack bra .. or the ben wah balls... i walk just behind Sir...... i always ask (mostly always) for His opinion on things before i purchase them..a good example was the redecorating i am doing in the townhouse.... Sir helped chose the paint for the main level - Sir helped select the curtains and the rugs........Sir is helping me plan the new bathroom that will be done this summer...... maybe some sales clerks wonder .. but most of the time i think they see a couple who compromises..who works together.....

We flow together now.. Sir and i..... so i don't think our lifestyle is very evident to others around us..... and as is human nature - people see what they want to see.........


1 comment:

Buffalo said...

I'm tired of saying "interesting," but it was.