Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Trip the Light Fantastic
Yesterday i probably confused a whole mess of you with my rambling thoughts on Experience....... however....... this is my blog.. and if i want to confuse you all i can ...... so hang on.. here comes the second installment.........
In yesterday's blog entry i talked about how much time some spend on line or reading about the BDSM lifestyle.. the fantasy side of it.. the fairy tale side of it... where it is never too cold to go naked.. where the floggers or whips never hurt too much.. where the sex is always perfect and rough and the submissive never complains, and the Dominant is always a perfect mix of Sadist and lover.
And there in lies the crux of the problem i think........ that and part time players ..... which all adds up to one big fantasy (in my opinion)
When i was playing once maybe twice a week......... i made sure i was on the top of my game so to speak.......my hair was always perfect.. my nails were always manicured.. toe nails included.. i never wasted the precious time we had talking about stresses from outside the lifestyle.. i never complained about aching bones or sore throats or a headache. After all we only had a stolen hour or two.. maybe a full day... who is going to waste that time with the other reality??
And so my BDSM world was coloured perfect. Because for the most part it was....... and of course i wanted more....... and the more i thought about it.. the more fantasies i read.. the more perfect sessions i had.. the worst the need grew..... for perfection !! And perfection was in the living it 24/7.
Everything works in the fantasy world....... perfectly. Sir had fantasies the same as i did.. and when we were first together full time.. we went gang busters trying to satisfy every single fantasy we both had....... from me being naked all the time.. to playing in the snow.. to my crawling around on all fours and eating from a bowl on the floor.
The truth of the matter is.. when you are 'doing' S/m or D/s or any combination of the alphabet .. regularly...then real life rears it's nasty head. Real life can be put on hold for an hour or two ... maybe......... but not forever. The reality is naked doesn't work 24 hours a day 7 days a week in the Great White North - unless you want your heating bills to sky rocket during the winter months! The reality is frolicking in the snow doesn't work unless it is a warm spring like day.... and you are only looking for a photo op. The reality is that old bones start to ache and complain and stiffen and kneeling for hours on end just ain't possible anymore. The reality is health issues can not take a back seat when you are living it 24/7.. flu bugs and mystery ailments and hospital tests and operations can put more than a little wet blanket on all those fantasies. So can bills to be paid.. work... family obligations.. and the list goes on and on.
The truth is...... it is damn hard to "do" BDSM 24/7 ....... to live it every day...... it isn't a fairy tale where the sex is always good and rough.. and the whips hurt just enough. BUT it doesn't mean that it can't be good......... and it never has to become a Ma and Pa Kettle relationship either Cloud! The really tough part is working through the bumps in the road.. helping each other to climb over them and continue the journey together........ Maybe not always dressed in leathers, with leashes attached to collars.. but with a wink and a smile and a nod... and a whip that hurts too much sometimes.
I wonder from time to time.. where the life stylers have gone - you know the ones i mean - they show up at play parties, at munches, at events with gobs of "experience". They may even teach a course or two.. they are all gung ho... and then they just kinda disappear....... sometimes they leave a quick note ...... "I am leaving the lifestyle." i am beginning to believe they built their hopes and dreams .. their BDSM world on a foundation of fantasies........ and it crumbled.
me?? i would rather build my BDSM world on reality. On old bones and aching joints and stresses and a vanilla world surrounding me. i want to be able to say .. when my time has come...... "i did it my way".............
i don't know.. but i am thinking tomorrow i may just do a little piece on submissives and their "real" roles ......... and Dominants and what is expected of them. It would seem i have a multitude of "opinions" buried in this addled brain of mine. And of course at some point or other.. i really must do some Christmas blogs.. after all .. too much seriousness makes for a dull blog....... and 'tis the season !!!