Masturbation

And now for something a little bit different (said in my best Monty Python voice)

It had been at least two weeks i guess since Sir played with me sexually........ i wouldn't say he had me on orgasm restrictions (mainly because he didn't identify it as such) but more that sexual play just hadn't been on the agenda.... (see me pout??)

i was busy cleaning again yesterday.... when i say clean i mean strip a room bare and wash it from top to bottom.. and i have 7 rooms in this house ....... it could take me all summer !!! ok ok maybe they won't all get done quite so well..........

but i digress...

Anyway i am cleaning and feeling bitchy and sorry for myself.. and around mid afternoon i think how nice it would be to have an orgasm.. maybe 2.. but definitely one.

Now BS (before Sir) i would have just dropped the bucket and cloth and marched upstairs to my very own 'toy box'...... selected the toy of choice for the day and had myself a very nice little 'siesta' ........ However since Sir came into my life.. there are no orgasms without expressed permission. And i find it a tad humiliating to ask........ i much prefer no one knowing i masturbate or have sex.. (hey.. my daughters were all found in the cabbage patch!!)

Anywayyyyyyyy.. getting back to being serious here....... (yes yes i CAN be serious!) i sent Sir an email (as He was going to be out for the evening and i had nothing else to do!) .. requesting permission to masturbate. Now please understand what it was i was actually asking for........ permission to find a nice toy.. (translate .. vibrator) .. stretch out on the bed lazily.. insert said toy and enjoy.. one orgasm.. ONE...

Well Sir does nothing half way...... nothing !! When he answered my email.. he said yes i could masturbate (yipeee!!) from 6:30 till 9:00 .. with an orgasm every half hour!!! Now that is 6 orgasms.. not that many actually when you think about it for someone who is multi-orgasmic........ BUT... on a time table?? and by myself?? excuse me??!!! what happened to the nice lazy siesta type masturbation session i had pictured??

Well the first hour went by smashingly.. no problems at all...... but there is something about masturbating alone.. without any stimuli.. (wink wink... nudge nudge) that leaves me less than satisfied...... #3 orgasm was gonna be difficult to achieve...... so i picked up the toy of choice and moved to the computer....... hey if others can read porn / look at porn while they masturbate so can i !!! (and besides no one would see me reading porn or my blushes)

So i found a site with some nice excerpts from erotic writings (translate porn) and got immersed in them......... #3 was spectacular... a huge success.. a squirting moaning grinding success... i kept reading...... #4 and #5 were ok..... but decreasing in intensity.... and by #6 i was downright disinterested...... #6 was hardly a blip on the orgasm meter.........

Now while i was soaking in a hot tub after my play time........ i was thinking about something i read somewhere on the net.. at some time or other.. that claimed the more sex one has.. the more one enjoys it .. needs it.. and the better the orgasms get........ now i have to agree with that.. i always believed that once a day was necessary for my mental health... and twice a day (morning and night being my preferred times) handled my mental health and my physical well being....... i wonder what the studies would show for no orgasms for weeks and then bang 6 in one night??!!!

Oh and one last thought about masturbation...... when i was looking for a very tasteful picture to illustrate today's blog...... i skimmed picture upon picture of erect penises...... or males doing females.. huh???
and then on top of the porn type pictures.. i also came across more than one blatant message that masturbation is BAD... bad.. bad !!! remember yesterday's post about my turning into the "crazy old cat lady".. well i have more proof of that eventuality.. especially IF i keep masturbating............. (a different spin on the old joke.. can i do it until i need glasses??)



now i ask you........ is that sort of thing necessary??? oh wellllllllll maybe i will just have to adopt more kittens and keep them safe........