Wednesday, March 07, 2007

What happens IF......

i just read a discussion on another blog.. about TPE (total power exchange) - well that wasn't the exact topic... but then i am known for not staying on topic on most blogs!

It was the TPE that jumped out and rattled my brain. i once knew a slave who lived a total TPE relationship. She had no job but serving her Master. She lived completely and totally in the BDSM world. Even when she ventured out in the vanilla world - it was under her Master's orders or with Him at her side. He thought for her 24/7 .. made decisions for her, she didn't have a charge card to her name, didn't have a bank account, she ate what He gave her to eat .. even the clothes on her back were bought by Him. It all sounded very fairy tale-ish and like so much fun !! How i daydreamed about being able to live such a life.

BUT in the back of mind was the one thing i always stressed with my daughters - never ever rely on anyone! to support you - always make sure you have the means to support yourself - because life can throw you some pretty mean curve balls.

Anyway getting back to TPE......Occasionally i come across a blog where the submissive is being groomed to be a total slave.. totally and completely dependent on her Master. Part of me is a little bit jealous...... but another part of me niggles at the thought. Today at lunch Sir and i were discussing how happy i would be if i never ever had to go work again.. and He made some comment about / apology for not being able to "keep me in the way i wished". And i choked. Is that what i truly want?? a total TPE??

i thought back to my friend the slave in a total TPE....... and i remembered what happened when her Master died suddenly. She was totally and completely at a loss. She had been in this relationship for going on 20 years. 20 years of not thinking for herself !! 20 years of not owning anything.. not a bank account.. not a credit card.. nothing. The death of her Master sent her spiraling down - she didn't know how she would live from day to day...... The worst of it was how she couldn't function without being told what to do.. what to wear.. when to get up and when to go bed. i found it very difficult to visualize. i found it even more difficult to imagine.

But - when Sir took His "retreat" last month and i was left with no rules to follow..... no structure .. i was lost. i was devastated. Every morning i sat in front of the computer screen and stared at it aimlessly (usually first thing in the morning i send Sir a private journal)... at 8:00 each evening i was lost - no chatting with Sir on msn... everything was out of kilter. Everything except for the fact that i had to get up each morning and go to work. It became my rock on which i depended. It was a reason to get up and get dressed and get out the door.

i guess i worry about all these young subbies who have found their dream Master - one who can and does support them completely. Their only job being to serve Him. i hope with all that is me that their Masters have made arrangements for them should anything happen to Them. But even then, i worry how they will cope in a world that expects everyone - man or woman - to make their own way. It is hard enough to deal with a death of a spouse / loved one/partner without having to struggle with the total helplessness that comes from being a TPE slave. i said to Sir once.. jokingly.. when He was talking about His will.. that He had better put in a codicil and leave me to a Dominant of His choice! Not so silly a thought if one thinks about a slave with no raison d'ĂȘtre except for her Master.

TPE is an interesting choice and a worrisome one too.

4 comments:

CLoud said...

In this day and time I would strongly suggest that slaves and subs must have a plan of action or way f taking care of themselves should anything happen. It is one of the first things I do when i have a slave is to inform them of what to do and who to call. SO should all that take control over someone's life. If you expect some one to give it all up for you then you better have plans set in stone for them to count on when you are gone.

My humble opinion of coursedrakor

Anonymous said...

Good topic! Someone asked me that a while ago and I meant to make a post on that. I'm going to though. Soon.

It is a scary venture though, no doubt about that. On some levels, for me anyway, it's a matter of handing over trust. If I trust Him enough to lay my life in His hands, and I do, then I trust that He isn't going to leave me for a newer model in ten years, and I trust that He's made the appropriate arrangements for my care in the event of an untimely passing. The death of a spouse/partner/Master is hard, no matter how it's been prepared for, but that fear or worry shouldn't stop us from living the life we want to have while we are both still alive.

But see, now I've made my post in your comments. I'll have to cut-n-paste. ;)

hey, if you want Lisa's link, send me over an email. (I offfered that once but maybe you missed it.) I can never get your email address to work for me from here.

Cheers! And no, no clinic for me. No doc period! Not yet anyway. ;)

kaya

RAheretic's swan said...

Real realities. Real questions. Real risks.

Realities, questions, and risks may or may not put a stop to anyone's dreams, hopes, or plans -- and perhaps shouldn't. BUT no one should ever make the leap into something so all encompassing without knowing that there are in fact all of those things.

swan

mel said...

Very interesting post littleone. There certainly are many aspects and variables to "total tpe slavery".
My own history is extremely simular to your friend"s. (I too, had my "fairy tale" relationship.)
Some differences are that while I was a "total tpe slave", I did work, (I was allowed/encouraged and my Master did make "in case of" arrangements, albeit, those were ..~altered~, and as I certainly was devastated from his death, I was far from ~totally helpless~ from living in that lifestyle. I struggled sure, but was highly functioning. Heartbroken, but able to go on and make a new life for myself, by myself.
I guess it really does depend on the person, like so many other things in life.
Honestly, I am a much better person because of that relationship, whatever the risks or outcomes.
Having very solid preparations are always the best, I would whole heartedly agree and advise that to anyone!
*smiles*
mel