Sometimes .. honestly.. i just feel like stamping my foot.. screaming out loud... throwing something.... i wonder (sometimes out loud) how many different ways there are to explain What It Is We Do.
i remember being taught - a long long time ago - that ignorance breeds contempt. maybe even fear??? (actually stupidity came to mind as well)........ i have answered here many different questions that have been posed to me in the comment section or in private emails. No matter how many words i write.. no matter how normal and mundane this blog can be.. there are people who still believe that there is something pornographic, dark and maybe even evil about BDSM.
Recently i have heard .. more times than i can count... that what we do should be kept behind closed doors. SEX?? are we talking about sex?? cause i kinda think that a goodly number of people believe that sex should be spoken about in whispers.. and done in the dark behind closed doors.
Ok people .. listen up.. (no no.. not kaya or swan or searabbit or the many BDSM readers - i am talking about all the lurking hiding vanilla readers - yes VANILLA!! god i almost hate that word now!)
BDSM is a way of life. LIFE as in daily activites. more than sex. much more than sex. It is a graceful serving .. a gentle step.. a responsive conversation. It is symbolism. It is bowing to the stronger one.. (and NO that does not always mean MALE - it means stronger person) and it is bowing not breaking. It is life lived from a simpler time.
In reading back in my blog entries i found a request for me to lay out my weekly life.. a typical week and weekend. i honestly don't remember if i did that - but let me try now to lay out my life for you ..put it under a microscope.. take a good long hard look............
Monday to Friday i get up at 5:30 am.. i make coffee .. i feed the cats..i take my pills with a glass of juice.. i bring my coffee upstairs.. i turn on the computer and i write a journal of my past day's events - expectations - disappointments and successes and i send it off to Sir .. no later than 6:30 am.... by 7:30 at the very latest i am out the door to school where i put in 7 - 10 hours of work.. then home by 5:00. The first thing i do when i get home is text message Sir and tell Him i am home safe and sound. Then exercise time.. then dinner time and time to feed the cats.. then some down time.. and by 8:00 each evening i am on messenger talking to Sir.. reviewing our day...by 9 sharp i am in the bath and then into bed...
Weekends are different because Sir is here ! (well most weekends) i usually greet Him at the door (should i get home before He arrives) kneeling. We generally have a quiet friday evening dinner - usually something easy ... sometimes pizza .. sometimes we go out and grab a hamburger... Sometimes Sir will "play" with me .. sometimes not. AND play does not mean SEX... it means floggers and whips and needles and canes and crops, and that is because i am a masochist. And masochists are wired a bit differently from the average joe we LOVE pain.. we crave pain.. we need pain. We do not always have orgasms from pain.. but we do most certainly enjoy endorphin highs - and trust me folks that can be even better than an orgasm.. (ok ok sometimes better than an orgasm!!)
Saturdays are spent doing laundry - His and mine - and maybe running messages if there are any.. some weekends we entertain - just like normal folk... i make the meals and serve them to Sir .. in the dining room. Breakfast is always served with the newspaper beside His place .. open and ready for Him to read. We try to fit a play session in on Saturday ... cause Sunday is quiet time.. recharge the battery time.
i do not purchase clothing without Sir's approval - actually i don't purchase anything without talking to Him first. i often times will ask if there is something He would like me to wear - if we are going out. i am responsible to keep myself healthy wealthy and wise.. (ok ok now i am being just plain silly!!) BUT i am responsible to keep my life an open book for Sir.. He checks on my health issues regularily - as i check on His. There are small differences in things we do .. in public .. that some may notice others may not. Most of the time Sir enters a building before me... often times i will hold the door for Him... i will never sit until Sir sits.. and indicates where He wants me to sit.. at home the choices are at His feet or in a chair... in a restaurant for example He will point discretely to the chair He wishes me in.. be it beside Him or opposite Him. Often times He will ask me what i am going to order.. and give His discrete approval. i don't think He has ever denied me what i wish to eat (probably cause i am a picky eater)
Have you noticed not once have i mentioned sex??? geeeeeeee.. a whole week or two can go by without there being any sex. Imagine that!!! When we do have sex.. it is spontaneous and glorious and earth shaking. I twitch from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. BUT that is because the Man is such a good lover !!! (i am lucky that way!!) AND yes sometimes the sex does happen while i am strung up on the cross or hanging from the chains.......... and yes that bit should be kept out of view of those nervous nellies who don't want to know about it....... BUT the rest of it?? it is just life folks.. plain old fashioned living.... just like you do.. cooking cleaning shopping doctor's appointments and health issues .. mixed up with a whole heap of love .. just to keep us sane.