i was lying in bed.. waiting for sleep to come .. with the tv quietly playing in the background. And the first thing i heard coming from the box.......... was a quote from Socrates..... He is quoted to have said:
"From the deepest desires often comes the deadliest hate".
Now ain't that something to mull over.........
i was just gonna leave it at that.. and did actually until kaya left me this comment:
Are you going to share you "mullings"? I'd be interested. :)
which you know got me thinking....... all day long........
Originally that quote got me because of the events from the past couple of weeks.. of my venturing off into vanilla land clad in my BDSM cloak....... i couldn't understand their strong reactions to me .. to what i wrote.. to the simple word vanilla.. it nagged at me... for some silly reason i kept thinking about my belief that homophobics are simply not comfortable with their own sexuality....... i kept thinking "it has to be something like that.. it has to be".. (after all i hadn't exactly posted anything that earth shattering .. i was tip toeing around.. taking my time.. testing the waters so to speak) and there it was.. loud and clear .. breaking into my semi dream like state "from the deepest desires comes the deadliest hate".. EUREKA !! of course... perhaps i touched a chord deep inside of them.. made them uncomfortable with their own secret fantasizes?? made perfect sense to me!
But then i looked at that quote from a BDSM stand point........ and yeah it makes perfect sense for me too......... i have (and i am sure i am not alone with this) deep dark secret fantasizes that i don't ever dare even talk about............ in the light of day i declare loudly that i HATE those things... my god .. how could you even THINK i might like it???!!! but deep down inside of me.. every once in a while i pull back the heavy curtain that hides those thoughts and take a peek inside.... and ohhhhhh the thrill i feel deep in the pit of my stomach - it almost scares me!!!
and so yes.. i do believe that no matter how you identify yourself.... there is some deep desire buried inside all of us.. that when challenged we deny.......