Friday, December 01, 2006

25 days and counting...

Today is the official start of the Holidailies postings. i have tidied up.. and hung a few decorations here on The Journey. There will be new folks stopping by to visit..... so everyone please behave... no scaring the newbies.. Trust me i will do that well enough all by myself !! (cheeky grin)

Sir has told me that He is working on a new list of rules/protocols... to say He has my curiousity aroused is an understatement. Also Sir told me that He is worried that i won't like these new rules. And He is worried these rules may break my spirit. i know a good Dom should think about these things.......and worry about the mental and physical well being of their submissive/slave. BUT.. (and god forgive me i may land up regretting these words) after 5 years i would hope Sir knows me well enough to know what will push my buttons and what won't..... Sir already has in place a safety net for when things go terribly wrong (my private journal - my time for free speech) so can't we try these new rules/protocols?? Right now i am feeling very vanilla, and very unfocused, and very confused !!

He is worried He will break my spirit......... what would break my spirit?? i know that inconsistency is one thing that will break my spirit faster than anything else. This may sound dumb to some of you (specifically the vanilla world) but without the rules .. without the consequences/punishments, i am lost and unfocused and feel unloved.

Feeling unused may break my spirit... i am submissive.. i need to serve.. i need to feel useful and appreciated (hey that is pretty vanilla isn't it?? feeling appreciated i mean) i need to feel the sting of the whip or the bite of the ropes or the prick of the needles. i need my limits pushed.... i need it all to grow and feel complete........

i want to get out of this rut that i feel i am in! If it takes new rules/protocols then so be it... i need it.. just as a starving person needs food... My spirit is strong, i am hoping Sir will test it.. push it.. and glory in all that will be..........

(there is a new entry to my fictional blog - link on the right)

1 comment:

CLoud said...

perhaps a few toys maybe th eskin but the spirit I don't know