Monday, May 29, 2006

Communication skills

We are always saying in this lifestyle that communication is so important..... but ya know what ?? even experienced folks like Sir and i sometimes screw up majorily on the communication part......

Sir needed some space this weekend to deal with His own emotional overload (concerns about His mom etc) well He wrote all about it in
His blog..... and i wanted to be a good subbie and give Him all the space He needed.. i deliberately put my needs and wants on the back burner.. i (kinda) lied to Him and said i was glad He would be at home this weekend that it would give me time to get a whole mess of chores / tasks done around here.. i did my "tough old bird" imitation.. (a good one too !!!) BUT the truth of the matter was.. every time i went by a window i would glance out and see .. IF by some stupid chance .. Sir had changed His mind and had jumped in the car and come........ but all i saw when i looked out was an empty parking space..... and my throat would get tight.. and the tears would threaten to spill over...

and so i would plug ahead with the tasks and chores........... By Saturday afternoon when i spoke with Sir i wanted Him so badly...... but i was so afraid it was MY need.... and i was trying so hard to be strong.. to be that "tough old bird".. so when Sir hinted that maybe i would like to come over for dinner ....... i hummed and hawed and suggested that i still had work to do.. and maybe Sunday would be better.. giving Him another day to rest and relax... He didn't pursue it.. i went ahead and finished all the major work.. including all the flower beds........ and nearly collapsed when i was done.. god i was tired and sore !!!!

Sunday morning i was all ready for Sir ... i kept checking my email.. and there was nothing..more than a few times i checked the phones to make sure they were working.. and they were.. but not a word from Sir.. i couldn't figure out what was wrong.... wasn't He going to invite me on Sunday?? the morning stretched into the afternoon........ and now i was worried.. i hadn't heard from Him.. and He hadn't picked up His emails....... my imagination went into over drive... something HAD to be seriously wrong........ so i text messaged Him.. SILENCE. Finally i picked up the phone and called Him direct....... He was fine (my heart started to beat again... and of course i cried - i always cry when things are fine.. i am a woman after all !!!) Sir sounded down... i got the distinct impression He was disappointed i hadn't come to Him on Saturday ... (colour me shocked ) It was a brief call and when i hung up i sat staring at the computer screen for all of 2 minutes then i went into over drive.......... i fed the cats .. jumped in a shower... grabbed some clothes.. grabbed the strawberries i had bought for Sir and jumped in the car........ thank goodness my lil red honda has two speeds fast and FASTER... i was ringing Sir's doorbell in 30 minutes with my heart pounding..

Sir and i spent just over 2 hours together.. snuggling..eating barbque chicken.. me getting my ass whalloped (just to keep me in line) and laughing together.. i so needed that time with Sir and i am pretty sure He needed that time with me........

i can only hope Sir and i learned more about communication skills this weekend..... and i can only hope that my lil visit helped put a little sun in His day............

God i LOVE this man i call Sir..........

(oh yeah.. yesterday i posted some pics to the photojournal........ Sir would love to have my nipples pierced and is always sending me pics of jewelry - He knows how much i LOVE jewelry and i think is hoping one of these pics will win out over my fear of having it done)

2 comments:

Jo aka SeaRabbit said...

It is very hard to get rid of our 'presumptions'... "I think He would like me to say this... or to do that... "... We get caught in this often, here... and it is making life hard sometimes... while just a little opening, a straight question directly asked, no interpretation about any sign could just make it so, so easy and fun...
We all have to learn to communicate... but... what were we teached in school??? ;-)))

anna said...

Say what you mean and mean what you say. I guess that's a little easier said than done at times.